Valentine

Dear Blog,

It has been many months since I have last posted. I like to blame lack of time, but really and truly it has been mostly because of laziness. However I shall place the ultimate blame on losing my SL Facebook account! Things just haven’t been the same since that was lost away.

I have done a few pictures lately, mostly private stuff. I¬†guess I shall just make a post to get the groove going. This picture was taken before Valentines Day. It has a heart and I’m wearing a red shirt so it counts!

This is as close to a valentines photo as it gets ūüėČ

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Style Card:

  • Hair:¬†Dura Boy 56 Black
  • Shirt:¬†not so bad Billy Denim Shirt Red
  • Pants:¬†FATEwear Grip Billy Low
  • Shoes:¬†JD York Earth

Picture Settings:

  • Sim:¬†Salt Water
  • Pose: …
  • Windlight: [NB]¬†Sepia 1700

 

 

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Leadership & Communication Skills

This months graduate course (course 10 of 12) is all about leadership and communication. I just finished the first weeks of assignment and it has forced me to do some thinking…

I believe right now I’m in quite a vulnerable state: I have gone through 9 consecutive months with no breaks of doing grad school full time, working full time and living up to some very old school backward village mindset of Indian traditions courtesy of my family.

When I turned 27 last October, I realized that I was fast reaching my thirties and I’m not getting any better at what I do. I realized that I need to step up my game, do better and be better. Hence the reason for grad school. At the time I had realized that staying in my current country was going to get me nowhere, the economy is declining and thus growth opportunities are very slim. People are just not innovative here and in general don’t strive for more. Is it a flaw of the government for not aspiring to do better? Or is it a flaw of the people for being complacent and enjoying “life in paradise”? Or is it both? I like to think it is both but inspiration has to come from somewhere! Perhaps our leaders can inspire us to do better and to lead by example, something at which they are sorely failing at.

But this post isn’t about the government or their failures to develop our country, this is about me: my goals and my aspirations. I want more from life than what I currently have, I want¬†grow, develop, achieve! I can’t do that here, I need to go elsewhere. I don’t want to be stumbling around the dark figuring out how things are supposed to be done, I’m not interested in re-inventing the wheel. I want to be somewhere that is already established, that already knows better and is pioneering new ways of solving new problems, not dwelling on old ones.

From all this I devised a short term plan as follows:

  • Enroll in grad school at 27
  • Complete grad school by 28
  • Get a few months of experience after I graduate
  • Find a job in the United States or Canada before I’m 30.

By the time I reach 30, I fully intend to have a full time job in the US or Canada. That will begin the next chapter in my life where hopefully I can achieve what I feel I can’t here. I have no problems with coming back, but that would be best done once I have established myself. Right now while I’m still able to learn and perform I want to be someplace more challenging and established!

I’m oh so close to ending the first phase of my plan, completing grad school. I can feel the weight of the stress bearing down on me, the quality of my work is slipping and the level of diligence I usually provide is not as good as it usually is. I really do hope that I can finish strong, it is arguably essential in order start the next chapter strong!

Look Of The Day 2014-08-04: Tough Cookie

This post is inspired by the SL Look of the Day Facebook Group‘s “Tough Cookie” challenge. Didn’t do lines on the image’s style card this time.. was too lazy ūüôā

Style Card:

  • Hair: Raw House ¬†Flatliner Blacks 05
  • Eyes:¬†Poetic Colors Jaded Wet¬†Sand
  • Eye Makeup: Little Pricks Slits with Red¬†Eyeshadow
  • Cigar: NikotiN Cigar
  • Ears: Mandala Steking Ears
  • Tattoo: GrungeInk Demonology Sleeves Normal
  • Vest:¬†SWaGGa Tactical Mesh Vest
  • Pants: Razor/// Sideslip Pants
  • Rifle: The Omega Concern Signature 556 SWAT
  • Hand Jewelry: Mandala Sinra Wrist Cuffs¬†Samurai Black
  • Shoes:¬†Razor/// Johnny Rotten Boots

Picture Settings:

  • Sim: Private
  • Pose:¬†The Omega Concern – Signature 556 SWAT Standing Pose
  • Windlight:¬†Places Imagine

Look Of The Day 2014-08-02

20140801-FormalGoth_003E

Was trying a different way to place the style card on the picture itself for the Facebook Look Of The Day group. I didn’t want to bore the post with long text, just wanted to post the picture. Forgive my line work, it is terribad I know it!

Style Card:

  • Hair: Raw House ¬†Flatliner Blacks 05
  • Eyes: Noya “The Devil’s Child Eyes” Green and Black
  • Eye Makeup: Little Pricks Slits with Black Eyeshadow
  • Monocle: Bokeh Monocle
  • Ears: Mandala Steking Ears
  • Suit: Gabriel Belted Suit Gray
  • Hand Jewelry: Mandala Sinra Nail Samurai Black
  • Shoes: Gabriel Dress Shoes Black (not shown)

Picture Settings:

  • Sim: Private
  • Pose: Expressive Poses Roger 3
  • Windlight: London2026

 

 

Kael’s Journal

I woke up early today for once.

It is Friday August 1, 2014. For the past few weeks I have been struggling to go to bed early and wake up early and the result was consistent exhaustion, getting to work late, leaving work late, not having enough time to do the things that need to get done. Outwardly I blame all sorts of external factors, my family for stressing me out, school for giving so much work, career for¬†being slow to develop, country for making some obviously stupid decisions over the years and taking action now when it is too late… Inwardly I blame myself for being weak, for lacking the discipline to do what I need to do to get what I want.

It is 7:30 AM, my alarm goes off and I turn it off immediately. No snoozing this time. I get right out of bed, I’m supposed to do 50 pushups, 50 sit-ups and 50 squats, a task that should take no more than 15 minutes, but my head just isn’t the space for it. I convince myself to start with 10 of each and do the rest when I get home. The house is quiet… too quiet… Normally at this hour someone would be yelling for some reason or the other, or my sister will be hogging the bathroom when I need to be getting ready for work. There is almost always something that ruins my morning.

My¬†sister lives in India, she just finished her med school stuff and is now a specialist in Anesthesiology, just like dad. My parents went with her to India, dad is on an extended study leave to get some checkups with his doctors there and also to help my sister with moving to a new place (depending on where she gets a job) and also with finding her a husband (such is their culture. They will try to force me into it, but I don’t see it happening).

It is 8:00 AM. I’m ready for work. The house feels quite lonely without the family here, but I am ready for some peace and quiet, should give me more time to focus on me and work on me. Now I have no excuses for failing at my diet or time management, my fate is in my own hands for the next few months.

It is 8:30 AM. I leave the house. I am on the road. It is deserted. Not a soul in sight. It feels like I’m in an episode of The Walking Dead.

It is 8:45 AM. I am at work. Not a single car in the log. I am so confused…

It is 8:45 AM. I enter the building, wishing I had some kind of weopon in case I’m faced with zombies.. The guard is inside the building, she’s still human! She lets me in and says, “So you have to work today too huh..” I reply, “What do you mean?” And then it hits me… August 1 is Emancipation Day! It is the day that that slavery was abolished in my¬†country. I have a four day weekend!!!!

I am an idiot. I go home.

What is Blogging about?

Tomorrow my family leaves me for a few months, my sister has to go back to India to find herself a job, my mother is going to babysit my sister and take care of dad, and dad is going on “study leave” but really to find a husband for my sister (such is our/their culture) and to be close to his wife and daughter.

Just the other day I was listening to a podcast on TED talks about Leaders. I will likely go back and give it a listen later on to find the name of the guy, but there was one person featured who was talking about blogging. Paraphrasing:

“I wasn’t born an amazing blogger. I just started, it was whatever, but then I got better!”

Yesterday I had a rather amusing conversation on Facebook with some people discussing the logistics of toilet paper use. This started about because I was concerned that my sister was being very wasteful by using two rolls of paper per week since she’s been here! I set out to do some research and find out the logistics of toilet paper usage: standard size of a sheet and number of sheets per roll. Doing some simple math, we could determine the number of rolls that should have been used versus how many are actually being used, and trying to figure out why there is a discrepancy.

In addition to that discussion, I could just as easily make use of some analytic/infographic/presentation skills that I am acquiring in my graduate program.

I have always wanted to blog. It is a great way to share thoughts and stories. My real life blog has never taken off because I was never comfortable with the process and was worried about doing a terrible job. I found that a lot of my endeavors have not taken off because I don’t want to do a terrible job. Listening to the podcast, reflecting on what I am doing, I have realized that all this, “I would really want to…” or “That looks really cool…” or “If only I could…” is not getting me anywhere. In fact, each time I do something, the next iteration is always better.

The beauty of this particular blog is that I am using a pen name derived from a virtual community made up of real people. I can post without fear, judge and be judged all in the name of learning. I can take this feedback and experience and push it to my real efforts to create amazing things.

Bottom line, I need to just stop saying, “I should, I could, that would be nice…” and start saying, “Lets have a go at it!”

Look of the Day 2014-07-12

20140712-Army_006

Apparel

Shirt: Guarded Cross – Camouflage
Pants: Razor/// Sideslip Pants
Shoes: FLite. Masters РBlack @ Project Limited

Accessories

Goggles: [The Forge] Operator’s Headset – Army¬†@¬†Project Limited
Necklace: MANDALA Shamira Dog Tag
Bracelet: MANDALA Leather Sinra Cuff – Samurai Black
Watch: [NeurolaB inc.] Binary Watch 2.0
Rings: MANDALA Sinra – Samurai Black
Guns: BREACH 92F Pistols

Body Parts

Hair: RAW HOUSE Flatliner – Black
Hair base: AITUI Etched Hairbase Momentum 001 – Black
Tattoo: GrungeInk Demonology Sleeves – Normal

Photo Details

Windlight: Orac – Black Fog 1
Lighting: 2x Lumipro Projectors (1x wide spotlight from above, 1x wide spotlight from the side)
Pose: Lumipro SSP – ApoloM (preset 53)
Props: The Omega Concern WAH-64 Apache AH Mk 1
Sim: Private Land